A Couple of Bandaids, A Bottle of Peroxide

I have chosen to address this topic even though it has generated supreme controversy for some, and has generated extreme boredom for others. I speak, of course, of the infamous Sawyer-Kate-Jack love triangle, one of the recurring plotlines throughout all three seasons. Within my other posts on the Theories section, I have always approached Lost as a work of art that functions not only to entertain but also to enlighten. Our interpretations of, preferences for, and reactions to the drama onscreen reflect our own values. Some readers have even been offended and called me out for extending judgments beyond the show and onto the audience members. I stand by my assertion that Lost does not represent pure entertainment, but instead serves as a looking glass with which we can learn about ourselves and others. The dramatization of moral conflict allows us to explore the depths of human decision making. To me, the show’s love triangle does not carry any intrinsic value on its own, but remains important because it helps reveal our concepts of love and life in general.

As a medium, Internet message boards might not provide the ideal forum for discussing some of the show’s more complex and ambiguous issues such as this one. More often than not, people need to resort to unfair labeling, insults, exaggerations, over-simplifications, and other tactics in order to try to ‘win’ an argument in the space of a short paragraph. A common strategy is to try to phrase your conclusions in absolute terms, in order to overstate both the merits of your case and the flaws of the opposing view. Even in longer works such as recaps, bloggers tend to ignore possible counterarguments and focus upon offering only a one-sided view of complex issues. The adversarial system may work well in courtrooms, but, most often, this cycle tends to make all of us look like obsessed fools here.

Here are a few ground rules for my discussion, and I would recommend that all subsequent posters follow the same. I will not use any phony words (such as ‘Sawkat,’ ‘Jater,’ or ‘shipper’) intended to put a label on any group of people or point of view. I will try not to insult the intelligence, morality, or psychological underpinnings of any particular perspective. I will also not make any appeals regarding the relative quality of the actors and writers, nor will I treat any comments by the producers as evidence. Indeed, the debate in its current form seems rather ill-defined and needs clarification. I will attempt to analyze the discussion in terms of three general questions. First, whom will Kate choose by the end of the series? Second, which man would represent the better choice for Kate? Third, whom does Kate truly love? Each of these questions has three possible answers worth considering: Sawyer, Jack, or neither.


Kate will choose Sawyer at the end of the series.

Although the Pilot episode established Kate’s attachment with Jack, Kate’s relationship with Sawyer has been crafted slowly and steadily over the course of three seasons. The torture/kiss scene in Confidence Man was one of the first attempts to develop Kate’s attraction to Sawyer more deeply, and the revelation of Sawyer’s letter enhanced that depth. The two characters revealed a further connection in Outlaws, in the memorable ‘I Never’ sequence, in which they shared secrets about each other that they might not tell anyone else. Although Sawyer did not depart on his raft trip on good terms with Kate, she was clearly regretful, and Kate made up for it by treating a wounded Sawyer with great care in season two.

Season three, though, really pushed the relationship between Kate and Sawyer to great heights. The two lovers suffered a trying ordeal while imprisoned at the Hydra station, which brought their emotions out to the surface from underneath. While Pickett was beating Sawyer in front of her cage, Kate stated that she loved Sawyer. Kate later escaped into Sawyer’s cage and made love to him in the episode I Do. After some time apart following their escape, the couple once again reunited back on the beach with another sex scene in the episode Catch-22. The strong possibility exists that Sawyer, with his island-enhanced sperm count, may have impregnated Kate during one of these encounters, which should deepen the union between them. Sawyer shows that he loves Kate and needs her, and she would not want to hurt him in the future. She also seems to have helped Sawyer’s maturation throughout the series, while Jack has regressed to his lowest point by the events of the flash forward (at which point she is clearly not with Jack). Unlike her dealings with Jack, Kate has also already demonstrated that she and Sawyer can function as lovers. Regardless of what happens, a lot of different developments would need to occur in order to deconstruct Kate’s relationship with Sawyer, and, most likely, it would leave James Ford’s already fragile psyche in ruins.

Kate will choose Jack at the end of the series.

Kate and Jack have shared a special bond since the very first episode of the series. It is no coincidence that both the show’s first extended dialogue scene and the conclusion of the third season involved emotional discussions between Jack and Kate. Even at the end of season two, just before the Others put bags over their heads, Kate chose to focus her final gaze upon Jack’s face, and not Sawyer’s. It might be foolish to assume that the love triangle has already been decided even though three more seasons worth of character development remain. Kate may have kissed and slept with Sawyer before Jack, but the last man with to make love to her is more important than the first. Lost always excels at moving against viewer expectations, and Kate’s physical relationship with Sawyer might just be an obstacle on the long road toward uniting with Jack before the finale.

Even though the accepted interpretation of the episode I Do implies that Kate chose to be with Sawyer, there is more to the situation than meets the eye. In reality, Kate was not in the position to make any kind of free choice. She was the subject of Ben’s manipulation, and she ended up doing exactly what Ben wanted her to do. All that you need to do to force two animals to breed is to pair them together in cages with no other mating options available. Quite probably, Kate would have wound up sleeping with Jack if the situations were reversed. After all, it was Ben’s choice (not Kate’s) to group her with Sawyer and to keep Jack in isolation. Ben managed to break Kate’s will, just as he had broken down Jack and Sawyer previously. The decision was also made at a time of extreme emotional distress, with Sawyer facing the threat of execution. Sawyer himself pointed out that Kate probably only had sex with him because she thought he was a dead man.

Once the duo escaped from the Hydra, her passion for Sawyer certainly seemed to diminish, culminating when Kate abandoned Sawyer to rescue Jack. Even events of the later episode Catch-22 confirm that Kate would choose to be with Jack rather than Sawyer. With all three characters released from their imprisonment by the Others, Kate seizes the opportunity to try to rekindle some sparks with Jack. Only after Jack rebuffs her flirtatious advances does Kate take up Sawyer on the offer that she had rejected earlier. During the sex scene itself, Sawyer notices that Kate is crying, and she tells him to shut up. These actions indicate that Jack has always been, and may continue to be, Kate’s first choice of a romantic partner.

Kate will choose neither Sawyer nor Jack at the end of the series.

Ultimately, it does not make much sense to assume that Kate must choose to end up with either Sawyer or Jack by the end of season six. A strong possibility remains that one or all of these three central characters might die before the show ends. Even if all three players remain alive, Kate still is free to choose whomever she wants or no one at all. At the end of season three, it seems that both relationships are in trouble, as both Sawyer and Jack struggle to deal with their own personal demons. Even though Sawyer and Jack might represent her top choices on the island, she might feel differently after returning to the mainland. Her cryptic comments in the flash-forward (“He’s gonna be wondering where I am.”) indicate a relationship with male that may or may not be Sawyer.


Sawyer would represent the better choice for Kate.

First and foremost, Sawyer offers a strong sexual chemistry with Kate. Beyond pure sex, though, Sawyer provides a high level of physical intimacy in other situations, such as Libby’s death in Three Minutes. Like Han Solo, Sawyer offers the “You like me because I’m a scoundrel” appeal that attracts many women. Any time that she is with Sawyer, Kate gets to feel needed, and also gets to feel as if she if doing a good deed by changing him for the better. His past relationships with women had been defined by money, but the island has made money worthless and thus given him the chance to develop a nonmaterial quality. As far as we know, Sawyer has never fully committed himself to a woman, and so his relationship with Kate includes a degree of novelty that adds excitement to every turn. As fellow Outlaws, Kate and Sawyer share some common background, and he understands her past perhaps better than anyone. For the most part, he treats her as an equal partner, and rarely tells her what to do. He approves of Kate just as she is, and he does not demand any change or improvement on her part. One could argue that Kate is indeed the dominant partner in this relationship, as Sawyer has more needs to fill than Kate.

Jack’s relationship with Kate has not always been a very fun experience for either partner. As Jack began to make decisions and give orders to other survivors, he also started to tell Kate what to do. Most notably, he secretly overturned the dynamite decision that they had made as a group in Exodus, and he tried to forbid her from joining The Hunting Party (which ended badly). Beyond merely making decisions for her, Jack’s frustrations often develop into violent rage towards all others, including Kate. Jack revealed a streak of drunken, physical brutality with his aggressive treatment of Achara in Thailand. At least one woman in Jack’s past, his ex-wife Sarah, decided that she could not live with his controlling nature. Upon learning of Sarah’s infidelity, Jack also became obsessed with finding the identity of her new lover, and manifested his paranoia by stalking his wife and his father. In addition to this dark side of his personality, Jack also suffers from a poor bedside manner, and his frequently cold demeanor offers little comfort to Kate and others. By the events of the flash forward, Jack descends into a suicidal state characterized by alcohol, painkillers, and self-pity. He seems doomed to live an unhappy existence, in which, even when he succeeds, he still fails. And, as Christian Shephard noted, when Jack fails, he “just doesn’t have what it takes”.

Jack would represent the better choice for Kate.

Even as a child, Jack has always been willing to put himself at risk to help others. While Sawyer was bust stashing away alcohol, tobacco, and firearms, Dr. Jack was at work saving lives. From his first moments on the island, Jack has acted to ensure the safety of all of the crash survivors. Kate first found him in a moment of weakness, though, unable to stitch up his own wound. He helped assuage Kate’s fears and arouse a spirit of self-confidence in her. After Kate expressed worries that she would run away from pressure situations, Jack reassured her, “I don’t think that’s true. You’re not running now.” Early in season one, Jack also offered forgiveness for Kate’s past, by promising that he would only judge her based on her actions on the island. Jack saw something special in Kate that she did not even yet believe herself. In a sense, Jack was the one who offered Kate a fresh start, but it was Sawyer who reminded her of who she used to be. Jack feels extremely protective of all of the survivors, but towards Kate in particular. He risked his life many times to save her, most dramatically at the end of I Do. Furthermore, Jack remains an extremely committed man in general. He takes fidelity so seriously, that he confessed to his wife that he had shared a kiss with another woman immediately after. In terms of a relationship, Jack provides for Kate a loyal protector, but he also inspires the confidence that she could improve herself and overcome her fears.

Sawyer still embodies some serious character flaws that should not be ignored by any woman. His track record of romantic relationships does not inspire much confidence. Just like the conman Anthony Cooper who supplied his alias, Sawyer uses his charms and deception to manipulate women into giving up what he wants. Sawyer’s primary skill was his ability to use sex as a weapon to steal money (and, by his own admission, he has also used money to pay for sex). Sawyer abandoned Cassidy, perhaps the love of his life, pregnant and alone after stealing her savings. On the island, Sawyer continued his selfish pattern of stealing to keep everything of value for himself. He initially made unwanted sexual advances to both Kate and Shannon, attempting to exploit his material advantages in exchange for sex. In conversations with Kate, he frequently tries to diminish the contributions of others in her eyes, and to bring everyone down to the same base level. In the episode Walkabout, Sayid saved Kate from a possible violation by the physically dominant Sawyer, and Ana-Lucia later submitted herself willingly in a similar situation in Two For The Road. His selection of female nicknames reduces women to physical characteristics (Dimples, Freckles, Sticks), but his nickname for Ana-Lucia (B*tch) reveals even stronger misogyny. His Long Con to acquire the guns put Sun and others at great risk, and he used Kate herself as an unwitting pawn in that game. On top of everything, Sawyer has also murdered at least two people in cold-blood and killed another in the heat of passion. Let’s not forget the reality that the name she knows, Sawyer itself, is not even his real name, but a symbol of his false identity. Kate might be fooling herself if she believes that she can actually reform Sawyer’s nihilistic, egocentric, hedonistic lifestyle for good.

Neither Sawyer nor Jack would represent the better choice for Kate.

There are a few different ways to interpret this claim. The first way is to judge that the two men are equally good in merit. The next way is to judge that both Sawyer and Jack are equally bad news and Kate should avoid romantic entanglements with either of them. Perhaps their flaws are too significant, and either relationship would harm her in the long run. Another way is to judge that Kate is not a good match for either male. Too often, Kate runs away from her problems, and her indecisiveness has played one man off the other. Perhaps Kate needs to work on herself before she can engage in any type of loving relationship with another.


Kate truly loves Sawyer.

Unlike with Jack, Kate actually has expressed her love for Sawyer verbally. Kate later claimed that she did so only to stop Pickett from beating him, but that statement was also made in the heat of the moment. Sawyer later asked her whether she loved him, and she responded by kissing him. Even though Kate hesitates to verbalize or even to understand her own emotions, perhaps her actions in this case speak louder than her words. Kate did everything that she could to protect Sawyer’s life. She did make love with Sawyer in two different situations, and after each time she showed smiles of contentment. She experiences no major feelings of inferiority around Sawyer, as he makes her feel like his equal (if not his superior). She goes to Sawyer when she feels the need for an emotional connection, and he satisfies those needs. When they argue, Kate and Sawyer usually tend to arrive at some sort of closure or reconciliation of the issues. They now have a proven track record and are firmly established as lovers. It is difficult to envision Sawyer finding a separate love interest, or even any separate route to redemption, outside of his relationship with Kate. Further, there is probably nothing that she could do that would cause Sawyer to reject her. Sawyer gives her life a purpose, even without the need to change herself. All of these reasons make it very believable that Kate holds true love for Sawyer.

Kate truly loves Jack.

The argument for why Kate loves Jack is more complex. The episode What Kate Did explores Kate’s psychology in depth. Kate’s life includes a pattern of running away from all of the ‘good men’ in her life before Jack: her childhood sweetheart Tom Brennan, her one-time husband Kevin, and her father Sgt. Sam Austen. She tells Jack, “I'm sorry that I am not as perfect as you. I'm sorry that I'm not as good.” She kisses Jack, but then the same feelings creep into her mind while looking into his eyes seconds later, and so she runs away. Later on in the episode, she reveals that Sawyer reminds her not of any of these men, but of her deceased father Wayne, whom she murdered. Using Sawyer as Wayne’s stand-in, she explains.

KATE: You asked me why I -- why I did it. It wasn't because you drove my father away, or the way you looked at me, or because you beat her. It's because I hated that you were a part of me -- that I would never be good. That I would never have anything good. And every time that I look at Sawyer -- every time I feel something for him -- I see you, Wayne. It makes me sick.

In essence, it appears that Kate would prefer to be with a traditionally good man, but she does not see herself as worthy of such a life. She abandoned her husband to escape the possibility of having a child and settling down to a routine. Many people presume that Jack and Kate will never be equals, but that presumption works as a double-edged sword. In order to be in a relationship with Jack, she would need to improve herself, to evolve into a better person than she was before the island. She would need to improve her self image, to be able to look him in the eye without feeling inferior. On the island, in Tabula Rasa, Jack presented her an opportunity for rebirth. Interestingly, the island left her nowhere to run (except to Sawyer). Falling in love with Jack involves challenge and risk for Kate, but quite possibly the greater reward. Neither Kate nor Jack seems to be emotionally mature enough yet to be in a healthy relationship with each other, but they will have plenty of time to develop.

Kate truly loves neither Sawyer nor Jack.

Even though this debate has been going on for the past three years, the characters themselves have only known each other on the island for a few months. This period of time hardly seems long enough in which to develop true love for anyone. Kate’s inability to make a definitive choice may reflect the reality that she has not fallen in love with either man. Both Sawyer and Jack have told Kate “I love you,” but she responded to neither declaration with words.

Feel free to disagree with any parts of my analysis. However, I hope that we can agree on a few main points. (1) Evidence from the show indicates that Kate could end up choosing Sawyer, Jack, or neither by the end of the series. We cannot predict any option with certainty. (2) As love interests, Sawyer and Jack possess both a different combination of virtues and vices. A person’s individual preference for either choice rests upon how highly one values their positive qualities, and how forgiving (or optimistic) one feels toward their flaws. (3) Kate possesses very strong, but very different feelings for both Sawyer and Jack. A person’s answer to the question of whom she truly loves rests upon their very own conception of what true love really is.

Although the first question is fairly straightforward and will receive an unambiguous answer, our answers to the next two questions rely upon our own value systems. A person’s response to either question reveals less about the objective reality of the show and more about themselves as an audience member. What makes one person a better choice than another? What exactly do we define as true love? These questions apply not only to the drama but to life in general. Unlike Kate, though, most of us will have more than three seasons in which to decide these answers for ourselves.